January 2010
FUCKfood.
my depression has lead to binge eating and weight gain. OMFG FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS SHIT.
i’ma pick up a fucking eating disorder. or starve myself completely. this is gross.
NO FOOD D:< FOREVER !
deal? deal.
SIIIGGGHHHHHH
I hate facebook.
Everytime i log on, I see updates from Thahitun and her travels. Everytime i see her new pics, she’s in all these amazing fucking foreign places, all around the world.
I’m so jealous ): It’s all cause she was/is an amazing student.
And i was such a rebel in school >.> Who never did homework.. was always late.. skipped classes.. cut school entirely for...
Woah,
Dirty little pictures everywhere. <3
i’m liking this.
Hey there, Pussycat (;
</3
Blurb.
So, Pat Benatar is officially my third idol. So the list is now:
Debby Harry
Joan Jett
Pat Benatar
If i could end up as fierce as any one of those ladies, i’ll be an accomplished woman.
I had a complete meltdown last night, and god was it embarrassing. I gotta remind myself to breathe when i’m stressed out so things like slightly spilling my heart out to people doesn’t...
figured out my next ink (:
اريد حبك ، وأنا أريد بك الانتقام
it says: i want your love, and i want your revenge.
(; naturally. <3
“To those who have given up on love; I say, ‘Trust life a little...”
– Maya Angelou
Skype ?
so four people are asking me to make one. >.> dunno if i will. i mean, i barely know how to use it. and.. i have a cell phone? you can talk to me on the phone, and when i wanna stop talking i can just.. say bye? or that im busy. or.. hang up. and i HATE speaking on the phone, unless there’s a lot to say or something. so.. idk. seem’s real pointless to me.
Suki re-did my resume...
awkward..
but it was great while it lasted
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
– Wayne Dyer
brain fart, take two.
so i feel insanely DREADFUL !!!!! i had a nightmare :( i was going to the hospital to donate bone marrow to Andy, and i was in my gown or whatever, and the nurse comes in with this TUBE that’s about the size of my fucking LEG and she said, that’s how much I’d be donating.. >.> i was like, no no no, there’s got to be some kind of misunderstanding, i can’t...
brain fart..
>.>
Salvatore
So the Career Builder Specialist at Empire was F U C K I N G gorgeous. And when i say gorgeous, i mean:
DROP. d e a d DELICIOUS. His name is Steven Salvatore, and it was love at first GLANCE. As soon as Suki and I walked out the elevator, he was by the front desk talking to some lady, and i’m all, Hey I’m here for my orientation meeting. And the lady’s all “please wait...
i'm cravingggg !!!!
with some
so fucking badly. like, i’m not even going to eat for the rest of the night because i want that soooo bad. i’ll go to Hanami tomorrow.. ALONE :( *cries* lol. food <3
im hungry.
and i had a nightmare last night. i was in some ghetto neighborhood and some guy wanted to steal cash, crystal, and i to be his demonic sex slaves, but we kept trying to run away and eventually he turned into this vampire looking demon, and started chasing us. and then i had a dream about two dogs o.o lol. a really tiny cute one, and another maltese looking, not so cute one. i dunno, lol.. dreams...
So likeeee..
I get to register for Empire on wednesdaaayyy <3 EXCITING! I’ll be liscensed and ready to sexify the sexy’s in NO time. I did so much shit today dude, i’m exhausted and it’s only 9oclock..ish And my back hurts.. i think my mattress is weird, or something. AND ! Wait, i might not go with Suki tomorrow.. I have some things to buy. Oh, goody (: shopping is fun. AND...
you taste just like glitter mixed with rock &...
Guy out on bond for grand theft auto is arrested... →
bahaha, i get it.
So, note to self.
I need a good concealer. And a good bronzer. And some noxema.
and misc. make up <3
“not psychotic or dramatic ; i love boys & that is that. i love it when you call me legs. in the morning- buy me eggs. watch your heart when we’re together - boys like you love me forever.”
“idk why its so hard for her to find a job, maybe shes retarded” “dude.. im in the SAME apartment as you, i can hear you..” “oh yeah, i forgot.”
-.-
good news, funny news, bad news.
Good News - Andy is a lot stronger. He can move him arms, fingers, and he can stand. He’s speaking a little bit, but not too much. And he’s being a pain in the ass with the texting again, which is wonderful. His chemo’s over, but he has another operation coming. So, fingers crossed, he’ll be alright. But, dude, his strength right now is a blessing in itself.
Funny News - I...
““People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of...”
quiet.
i don’t think i’ve said one word aloud today. i haven’t spoken. that’s not healthy, is it? if it isn’t then i guess that’s too bad. my mouth has opened, though. i exercised today, and breathed in and out.. obviously. i, uhm.. i ate.. drank some water. but i haven’t necessarily spoken a word, at all. not one. and that freaks me out a little bit. i think...
a little bit of happiness →
clicking this link once a day, everyday can definitely brighten up your mood (: lol. i love it.
Mumbo Jumbo..
I want that ^ like, ASAP. Why don’t i have it, you ask? Cause boys suck. (: And i’m no longer dating for fun. Cause then i fall, and then i crash. Now, i’m just waiting for someone else to fall.. and i won’t let him crash <3 But if this was all i had right now, i’d be a happier person. This, as in everything the picture resembles. The perfection it shows, when...
Oh, California.
I’ve been looking for work and applying to places like a maniac.
I just wanna go and never come back, and forget what life was like before here.
Let’s make this work, yeah?
2 tags
i’ve got this song stuck in my head.. once...